Robert Kalweit, Second of his Name — A Game of Thrones style IT industry resume

As I am going through the final episodes of Game of Thrones, I find myself taking the medieval/fantasy enthusiasm home to my own battlefront: the IT industry. One morning last week, excited about The Long Night, I thought about titles and resumes and wondered if anybody had already come up with a Game of Thrones resume for said IT industry? Several search requests later I’m thinking: Seemingly not*.

So inspired by Daenerys’ full title, below you’ll find my very own title and fantasy themed resume.

For reference here again the longest title possible:

Daenerys of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Lady Regent of the Seven Kingdoms, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons.

Now, I am merely

Robert of the House Kalweit, Second of His Name**, The Bruised and Burnt, Coach of the Cs, the VPs and the First Men, Certified Maester of the Scrum, Graduate of the Science of Computers, Humble Voter of European Elections, Breaker of Builds, Whisperer of Teams, Protector of the Man Cave and Father of a Son.

Adventures of Robert of the House Kalweit (Excerpt from The White Book)

— The Game of Thrones Resume —

2018 – present

The love I thought lost has found herself and me again. Parenting the heir on the diaper throne, learning as we go, is a joyous struggle and a mutual mission. Long may he reign.

2017 – present

Hedge Knight in the services of various lords, I served houses both big, powerful and ancient as well as newly risen ones. Helping the older, most revered houses to retain their market position by improving their agility is an equally challenging feat as supporting the upstarts to create basic structure and tame the dragon called chaos.

2015 – 2017

After travelling the Iberian peninsula and the far far away lands of Nippon, finding myself again, recharging my stamina and will, I gloriously made my return to the capital of Germany. Joining a wandering House with no lands but many birds to spread their messages among the people. Leading a team of agile knights to evangelize the Houses’ finer craftsmen and women we achieved victory after victory and created a wonderful place. Even years later, after many have moved on, every now and then, we gather and dwell in the memories of the glorious days.

2013 – 2015

Nothing could break the bonds we had created? Nothing? No. A stronger bond, made in 2011 led me to the island of Eire where I followed my love for another even more challenging quest in a more untouched land of Westeros. We both mastered our quests excellently: Mine was with a small group of native wizards, reading the minds and listening to the words of “users”, taking this knowledge to sell it to the big and powerful. “UX agency” we called it and we worked tirelessly. First living hand to mouth, later finding strong allies and sustainable relationships for our mutual gains in coin and wisdom.

Both my previous experience in the art of “Scrum” and my Germanness, expressed by fierce focus on work first, pub later, greatly contributed to the success of the quest.

Unfortunately after two years in this friendly and beautiful but strange land my love and I parted ways.

Jenkins! Come to us in our darkness. We offer you these manual releases. Take them and cast your light upon us. For the build is dark and full of errors.

2007 – 2013

My first quest started as before in the capital area, Berlin. An enterprise crafting games, used for entertainment, played over the ether, required my support in leading one of their endeavors. Soon after I joined, I found myself steering and guiding a most crucial endeavor! Bruised and burnt we all not only survived, having mastered the challenge of SOA migration, but emerged as a strong, loyal and experienced fellowship.

Education

I got educated in a small town in the lands of Mecklenburg-Strelitz, the north eastern lake area of changing German states. Being a bastard son of Sigrid of House Kalweit didn’t have any disadvantages, because the former rulers of the German Democratic Republic believed in chances, good and free education for all. While I grew up, leadership changed and I went to high school in the Federal Republic of Germany’s educational system, leaving with an A-level rank. My journey took me to the capital of the Republic where I became a novice in the craft of Computer Science.

Skills

Quick mind and quick tongue. Great bargaining skills, great at dealing with conflict as well as dodging it. Magician of presentations, captivating big audiences, engaging groups and gatherings. Speaking the language of the people and the rulers of the land alike.

Languages

Germanic of descent, I am fluent in the language of the Anglo-Saxons. I can find my ways around on the Iberian peninsula and also get directions and book and inn and order a beer in the lands of the Rus.


What do you think? If you like this post, like it, share it, comment on it. If you don’t like it, thinking “That’s not a Game of Thrones resume but just some shite.”, please just comment on it with a suggestion to improve. I live and learn and feedback is essential to do so.


*Can you believe that in 2019 this five-year-old article saying you should leave out gaming from your resume is still quite high up in Google search results? https://www.forbes.com/sites/insertcoin/2014/08/14/should-video-games-go-on-your-resume/

**There’s 2 more Robert Kalweits in the land of the Germans, of which one of them does (literally) rocket science in Hamburg.


This post has been edited by my sun and stars Anja of House Brachwitz, the First of Her Name, The Far Travelled, Master of Trade and of Correspondence, Artisan of Marketing, Grand Strategist of the Great Houses of USsos , Humble Voter of European Elections, Breaker of Glass, Protector of the Man in the Cave and Mother of a Dragon.

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